You Shall Not Be Broken

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In the spirit of Valentine’s, at we’re featuring the stories and testimonies on what God has shown Christians about singleness, relationships, and love all the days leading up to Feb. 14th.  Today, our Editor Dan shares how God is faithful in keeping His promise to make marriage a blessed union.

Marriage isn’t easy.  It’s no wonder that when we look around at our peers in our late 20’s and even mid 30’s, it’s rare to find people who are actually married.  I wasn’t a young buck by the time I tied the knot – one month from my 30th birthday, and yet, when people find out that I’m married, it’s shocking and almost scandalous to most people that I would do the deed “at such a young age.”  Some people are in such disbelief when they’re around Rachel and I that they keep referring to me as her boyfriend, even after being corrected many times.

Now that could just be my youthful charm and good looks (*wink*), but more likely it’s a symptom of how we view marriage nowadays and the fact that to most people, marriage just isn’t worth the work. 

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Why tie yourself down?  Why burden yourself with another person when life is about your goals, your dreams, your wants, you, you, you?  This Facebook age is the age of vanity, the age of egotism, the age of self-worship.

But what I want to share – to go against the grain – is to say that marriage is easier than you think, especially if God is involved.  Ever since I’ve been dating Rachel, we’ve been blessed with the Lord’s favor.  Time after time, He would intervene to keep us together, to keep us from being broken.  (You can read an example from a previous post I wrote here).  That’s why we have Eccl. 4:12 inscribed on her engagement ring (story of our proposal here) and we featured the same verse on our wedding day (story of wedding day miracles here) – a threefold cord is not easily broken.  Jesus Christ is the one that ties us together and keeps us together.

And He’s always on the job.  A few months ago, Rachel and I had a huge argument – the kind that I guess all married couples have – but this one was really a bruiser.  We were on our way to an event that night, and I remember I was so angry and so frustrated that I couldn’t even be in the same room as her.  My top was about to blow.  So instead of putting on a smiling face, I stormed off like a child and left her there to go into the event by herself.

Fuming, I walked all the way up and down the streets of the Noho Arts District.  Back and forth.  If this were a cartoon I would’ve had one of those black storm clouds above my head, I was that angry.  Nothing could calm me down.  I felt I was right, she was wrong and she had gone off on me for no reason.  After reaching both ends of Noho’s main drag, I realized I might miss the entire event if I didn’t get it together. 

Still fuming, still offended, with no answers and no solutions, I did the only thing I can ever do when these kind of things happen – throw my arms up, let it go and bring it to God.  I prayed that He would be faithful to keep us together as He always does, that He would resolve and fix the unfixable in us, that He would bridge the gap and reconcile the strongest forces of nature – man and woman – together for His glory.

After praying, I sucked up my pride, walked back to the restaurant and opened the door.  I remember Rachel seemed completely unfazed, as if nothing had happened.  As if my adult hissyfit hadn’t made it clear to her that something had gone very wrong.  But I let it go and started to talk to our other friends that had come.

As the night started to wrap up, we were walking back to our car and I asked why she had been so calm.  How could she not have been furious like I was?

Rachel smiled.  “You won’t believe this,” she said, “but while you were out walking around, I got an email out of the blue from Nonie, my Spiritual Mentor in Hong Kong.”

“So?” I said.

“Haha,” she continued.  “Nonie wrote I think you need to see this, God told me to send it to you.  I checked the attachment and it was an article called ‘10 Ways for Dealing with Confrontation.’  I mean what are the chances of that?  I guess God is trying to tell me something.”

We both had to laugh.  God has a great sense of humor sometimes.  He intervened in perfect timing, in just the exact moment we needed it again, and showed us how much He loves not just us – but how much He loves our marriage.

In marriage, you are never alone.  Jesus is in the middle, the mediator, counselor, therapist, advocate, peace maker.  Just believe, and I promise you shall not be broken.