Our sister Bonnie had previously found success in her business and ministry but has only recently learned how to rest in God. She shares her story with us here.
It was around 9:00am one October morning, a bluish – white ray permeated my room, making its sweet presence known. I awoke to its sound, a soft and gentle invitation that reminded me of childhood. Childhood – when tiny, white furry things spoke of innocence, unadulterated from obligation and immune to grown-up cacophony. I felt small. Like the furry white thing.
I looked up at my ceiling and doodled rabbits in my mind. Complete bliss soothed my tired frame. Is this what safety feels like? I questioned. Does safety feel like being still, staying restful, looking at bluish-white lights, thinking about rabbits? It was a foreign experience, this gentle rest.
That October morning was the beginning of my journey towards safety. It was when I started embracing the concept of rest. Being involved in ministry work for over 15 years, I understood when Jesus rebuked Martha for being too busy, but I didn’t embrace it. It was ironic at best, and hypocritical at worst. I couldn’t embrace rest, because holding onto Jesus meant I needed to stop embracing something else.
And I had a lot of something elses. My something elses included: my identity as the founder of a non-profit, my ambition as a restauranteur, my entitlement to a relationship, my cynicism against the lesser things of the world, and my faith as a leader in ministry circles. Such responsibilities and distractions convoluated what was supposed to be. To remain in His embrace, in His safety.
What is it about the way of the world that entices? It’s as if we live enslaved to duties and output, too hurried to notice that perhaps we are distracted. Not all distractions are bad. But, not all of them are good either. If we are to hate the world, or, to differentiate ourselves from it, overworking (even good work), is still operating in the world’s system. It is demanding, loud, and most of all, unsafe.
And it made sense when Jesus said to have faith like a child. To let the children come to Him. Because when you are a child, you have no option but to be embraced. To wake up happy to be alive, looking up at the ceiling and doodling rabbits in your mind, because with Jesus, you are safe.
Image Credit: Flickr/Jpockele