All I Want for Christmas

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What does the Christmas season bring to mind for you?  Our Editor Rachel shares her heart-touching story about all she ever wanted for Christmas. 

It’s Christmas again, and it’s time for me to take out my winter clothing to prepare for the cold season! Growing up in tropical Malaysia where the hot and humid weather never changes year round, my dream as a little girl was to have a white Christmas where I would wear knitted scarves, hats and gloves. As I was the youngest in my family, I would always be left behind as my sister and my cousins left Malaysia one by one for their studies abroad.

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My grandmother had 5 granddaughters. Whenever one left for studies, she would knit scarves, hats and sweaters for them. Grandma knitted the most beautiful accessories and outfits. Being a little girl, I would watch in awe when my sister and cousins proudly paraded them in front of Grandma.

I remember pulling my grandma’s sleeves gently and asking,  ‘Popo (that means grandma in Chinese), can you knit some for me too pwwease’?

And she replied, ‘Of course, I will knit for you when you need them for your white Christmas in college’.

I would smile and dream about that all day.  That was all I wanted for Christmas.

When I was 13 years old, my grandma fell severely ill. I remember holding her hands saying things like, ‘You have to be there to watch me get into university, get married, and popo you have not knitted for me yet’!

Shortly after, my grandma passed away and returned to the Lord. That was the most painful experience of my life. As a young teenager, I blamed God for robbing me of my joy and love.

But time slowly healed the pain.  Six years later, when I was 19,  I was getting ready to leave Malaysia to study law in England. Before I left, my mother passed me a present from my grandma that she had been holding for me for all those years. When I opened it, I found hats, scarves and sweaters knitted by grandma years before! It was just what I had always asked her for, in all of my favorite colors.  I went into my room and cried so hard because my grandma loved me so much that she would prepare so much in advance for me. Her act of love reminded me of the simple dreams I had as a little girl.

When I told this story during my fellowship, my friend turned to me and said,

‘Wow, Rachel! It’s like God, preparing the treasures for you in heaven’!

And then our big sister in Christ came up to me and she prayed,

‘God wants me to tell you that He remembers your dreams, even the dreams that you have long forgotten’.

I am so amazed at how God used a story that happened years ago to remind me again that He was already planning for me way before I knew Him.  That just as my grandma was secretly preparing my knitted gifts that I wouldn’t get until years later, God has also been preparing my future, my destiny, even my husband and my career all in advance and just waiting for me, and in His perfect and loving way He started to prepare all of that years before I even knew Him.

As I put on my grandma -knitted  blue hat this Christmas, I am preparing for my dreams to come true. After all these years, I have finally learnt that all I want for Christmas is You, Lord. Amen.